Ok so I love the LOTR movies as much as any other gal, but I can’t help but think that if it was an all-lady cast it would feel more epic and nuanced and less like a frat-boy camping trip.
So here it is–my picks for Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring if all the actors were to be replaced by boss a$$ actresses (Liv Tyler and Cate Blanchett can keep their roles).
Strider (Viggo Mortensen) – Zoe Saldana
Surprised? I really think that Saldana would blow us away in this role. She can do the serious, silent killer (see Guardians of the Galaxy), and bring the emotion and nuance totally necessary for future Queen-of-the-realm.
Gandalf (Ian McKellan) – Jenny Agutter
Have you seen Agutter in Call the Midwife? She totally has the gravitas; I would cry like baby if she were Gandalf the Grey.
Frodo (Elijah Wood) – Emma Watson
I think Emma Watson could totally carry the role of a Hobbit-sized voyager with a heavy burden to carry. She’s a leader in real life as a vocal, feminist activist, and we saw in the HP movies the beginnings of how she can unravel even as she’s forced to carry on.
Sam (Sean Astin) – Kristen Bell
We know Bell as a fast-talking independent sleuth from Veronica Mars, but I really, really think she could play a wide-eyed, fiercely loyal sidekick to Emma Watson’s Frodo.
Legolas (Orlando Bloom) – Mia Wasikowska
Wasikowska is totally our quiet, super-skilled Legolas. In another time and place, she would have been the Lady Galadriel but she wasn’t old enough at the time, so best put her into a action-heavy role (you’ve seen Tracks, right? so you know she can handle it)
Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) – Olivia Munn
Munn would totally bring the necessary emotional levity, and she could swing a battle axe like nobody’s business.
Boromir (Sean Bean) – Freida Pinto
Pinto is a feminist, and has spoken at length about her tendency to be cast as a victim.
Ned Stark Boromir falls victim to the siren song of the ring, and Pinto would totally bring the range this character goes through. Don’t believe me? Go watch Trishna, but be forewarned, it is not a feel-good movie.
Sauron (Sala Baker) – Helen Mirren
Dame Helen Mirren needs no introduction–but you knew this choice was coming, right?
Pippin (Billy Boyd) – Bryony Hannah
Ok so I kind of cast a lot of the gals from Call the Midwife (see below as well as Gandalf), but I think George (below) and Hannah have great chemistry as buddy cop duo-type to Frodo and Sam. In Call the Midwife, Hannah is the more soft-spoken, friendly one, and so she would suit the role of Pippin perfectly.
Merry (Dominic Monaghan) – Helen George
Other than the reasons listed above, I chose George because she totally has the mettle and humour as seen in Call the Midwife.
Check out our first instalment of Gender Swapping Movie Casts on Ocean’s 11 here.