Gender Swapping Movie Casts: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Ok so I love the LOTR movies as much as any other gal, but I can’t help but think that if it was an all-lady cast it would feel more epic and nuanced and less like a frat-boy camping trip.

LOTR movie poster

So here it is–my picks for Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring if all the actors were to be replaced by boss a$$ actresses (Liv Tyler and Cate Blanchett can keep their roles).

zoe_saldana_hair_braid

Strider (Viggo Mortensen) – Zoe Saldana

Surprised? I really think that Saldana would blow us away in this role. She can do the serious, silent killer (see Guardians of the Galaxy), and bring the emotion and nuance totally necessary for future Queen-of-the-realm.

jenyn_agutter

Gandalf (Ian McKellan) – Jenny Agutter

Have you seen Agutter in Call the Midwife? She totally has the gravitas; I would cry like baby if she were Gandalf the Grey.

emmawatson

Frodo (Elijah Wood) – Emma Watson

I think Emma Watson could totally carry the role of a Hobbit-sized voyager with a heavy burden to carry. She’s a leader in real life as a vocal, feminist activist, and we saw in the HP movies the beginnings of how she can unravel even as she’s forced to carry on.

kristen bell

Sam (Sean Astin) – Kristen Bell

We know Bell as a fast-talking independent sleuth from Veronica Mars, but I really, really think she could play a wide-eyed, fiercely loyal sidekick to Emma Watson’s Frodo.

MiaWasikowska-05

Legolas (Orlando Bloom) – Mia Wasikowska

Wasikowska is totally our quiet, super-skilled Legolas. In another time and place, she would have been the Lady Galadriel but she wasn’t old enough at the time, so best put her into a action-heavy role (you’ve seen Tracks, right? so you know she can handle it)

olivia munn

Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) – Olivia Munn

Munn would totally bring the necessary emotional levity, and she could swing a battle axe like nobody’s business.

freida-pinto-2015

Boromir (Sean Bean) – Freida Pinto

Pinto is a feminist, and has spoken at length about her tendency to be cast as a victim. Ned Stark Boromir falls victim to the siren song of the ring, and Pinto would totally bring the range this character goes through. Don’t believe me? Go watch Trishna, but be forewarned, it is not a feel-good movie.

Helen Mirren

Sauron (Sala Baker) – Helen Mirren

Dame Helen Mirren needs no introduction–but you knew this choice was coming, right?

Bryony_Hannah

Pippin (Billy Boyd) – Bryony Hannah 

Ok so I kind of cast a lot of the gals from Call the Midwife (see below as well as Gandalf), but I think George (below) and Hannah have great chemistry as buddy cop duo-type to Frodo and Sam. In Call the Midwife, Hannah is the more soft-spoken, friendly one, and so she would suit the role of Pippin perfectly.

helengeorge

Merry (Dominic Monaghan) – Helen George

Other than the reasons listed above, I chose George because she totally has the mettle and humour as seen in Call the Midwife.

 

Check out our first instalment of Gender Swapping Movie Casts on Ocean’s 11 here.

Gender Swapping Movie Casts: Ocean’s Eleven

Welcome to the first instalment of our new series, Gender Swapping Movie Casts!

I have caught myself blindly accepting movies whose casts are composed entirely of men. We’ve heard of race-swapping and gender-swapping, so what happens if we take well-known movies starring droves of men and exchange them for women? I think they’d be just as effective and entertaining. So watch me play casting director for these major all-guy movies.

936full-ocean's-eleven-poster

Above: I can’t photoshop for sh*t, so just picture all the women’s faces pasted over theirs please

First up: Ocean’s Eleven. It’s literally 11 men and Julia Roberts running around in the background with no other women to talk to. I’m changing that.

 

Danny Ocean (George Clooney) – Salma Hayek

salma hayek_oceanas11

Hayek just has that swagger and charm necessary to pull off a major heist, what can I say?

Rusty (Brad Pitt) – Natasha Lyonne

natasha-lyonne-sag-awards-2015

I think Hayek and Lyonne would have great chemistry as the mastermind-buddy duo. Lyonne would have the humour and the straight faces when need be.

Linus (Matt Damon) – Emma Stone

emma-stone

We need someone who could play the naive, wide-eyed innocent who turns out to have the best sleight of hand possible, and Stone is the woman for the job.

Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) – Gillian Anderson

gillian-anderson-2015-thumbnail-rexfeatures

C’mon, Anderson is PERFECT for this role of casino owner. I would love to see her freak out when all her hundreds of millions are stolen right from under her nose. And yes, I would keep her paired up with Julia Roberts.

Frank (Bernie Mac) – Danielle Brooks

Netflix's "Orange Is The New Black" For Your Consideration Screening And Q&A

Because Danielle Brooks everything, all the time.

Saul (Carl Reiner) – Betty White

Hot In Cleveland

Because White could fake a heart attack mid-heist like the best of ’em

Virgil (Casey Affleck) – Ilana Glazer

Ilana+Glazer+Arrivals+Critics+Choice

Nobody actually remembers who these fighting brothers are as they don’t really seem to do much. Casting the Broad City babes Glazer and Jacobson would make it memorable.

Turk (Scott Caan) – Abbi Jacobson

Comedy Central's "Broad City" Screening & Premiere Party

Reuben (Elliot Gould) – Olympia Dukakis

OlympiaDukakis

Who else could provide the bravado and dry wit necessary for the role?

Yen (Qin Shaobo) – Kimiko Glenn

KimikoGlenn

Glenn would be perfect for the role, but I would give her character some actual lines so she doesn’t fall into the “Silent Asian Character” trope.

Livingston (Eddie Jemison) – Katie Lowes

Katie+Lowes

Katie Lowes would be perfect for the nervous but brilliant tech expert

Basher (Don Cheadle) – Kerry Washington

kerry-washington-bio-photo

Washington would TOTALLY carry the scene where she has to (nervously) darken all the lights in Vegas with a massive detonation all by her lonesome.

THE LIST

Danny Ocean (George Clooney) – Salma Hayek

Rusty (Brad Pitt) – Natasha Lyonne

Linus (Matt Damon) – Emma Stone

Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) – Gillian Anderson

Frank (Bernie Mac) – Danielle Brooks

Saul (Carl Reiner) – Betty White

Virgil (Casey Affleck) – Ilana Glazer

Turk (Scott Caan) – Abbi Jacobson

Reuben (Elliot Gould) – Olympia Dukakis

Yen (Qin Shaobo) – Kimiko Glenn

Livingston (Eddie Jemison) – Katie Lowes

Basher (Don Cheadle) – Kerry Washington

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...